The Morning After
by Nyt Yanse
Summary: Just what it says in the title- sheer ridiculousness.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Morning After.

Fandom: Babylon 5.

Rated: T, though not this chapter.

Genre: Parody.

Characters: Everyone from Season 3 will probably be seen, not specifically focusing on anyone.

Spoilers: Not really.

Summary: Title says it all- sheer ridiculousness!

Authors Note: I was originally going to make this a one shot but I decided to embellish. PLEASE REVIEW, me love da reviews

* * *

Susan Ivanova, feared Commander of Babylon 5, woke up with the worst headache she'd ever had. Hangovers and concussion had nothing on this. She shifted under her covers, trying to find a way to lie that didn't involve putting weight on the side of her head or using her neck muscles, then froze as she registered several facts- She was naked, which was unusual, she was sore in places she REALLY shouldn't be sore in... and there was a warm body literally wrapped around hers, their bare legs wrapped together like tree roots.

After a few moments of frantic thinking, Susan reacted the only way she could- she pulled the PPG out from under her pillow and leapt out of bed, pointing the gun at her bed partner.

"I don't believe it!" She yelled in shock, staring at the man in her bed. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

* * *

Michael Garibaldi woke up, wishing he'd been sensible enough to stay unconscious. His head was throbbing worse than he'd ever known, and considering some of the benders he'd been on, that was saying something.

Then he heard a sigh and his eyes snapped open. And he yelled.

* * *

John Sheridan groaned, wishing he'd not woken up for a while- like a few years. This headache was worse than anything he could remember. He felt a face with long hair nudge his left arm, burying into his chest, and another warm body lying across his feet roll over, obviously still asleep. His other arm was clearly trapped underneath a third warm body, both arms wrapped around their respective armfuls. John heaved a sigh, intending to go right back to sleep... until it occurred to him that he was actually in bed with other people- people plural- and he had no idea who they were. He cracked open his right eye, looked around... and felt his mouth drop open in shock. "HUH?!"

* * *

Franklin opened his eyes, screwed them shut, groaned an oath to never sleep in the office ever again, then opened his eyes again. And felt two pairs of arms tighten around his chest.

Jumping slightly, he sat up- strenuously NOT talking to his head right now- and looked around him. "OK." He said after a moment of gaping, as his companions opened their eyes and looked around. "Anyone know what happened here? Because I'm drawing a blank."

* * *

Please review and let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

"Lennier!?" The pale Minbari Priest looked up at her, realised that the Commander was completely and utterly naked and looked down quickly... to realise that he was equally naked.

"Commander." He said to the bed covers. "I don't suppose you would happen to know what has become of my clothes?"

Susan gaped for a minute, stalled. "How did this happen?!" She yelled.

"I'm afraid I have no memories of what happened yesterday- and no idea whatsoever how I came to be here. And- I would be more comfortable discussing this if we were both... dressed."

"Stay there and don't look up." Said Susan, nettled. Lennier nodded, without raising his eyes, and Susan grabbed her dressing gown. Then she went out to her front room and groaned at what she saw. "What did we DO last night?!"

* * *

"Uh, hi ladies!" Given that he was talking to two prostitutes he'd arrested four and six times respectively, a Centauri dancer and female Minbari ranger- none of them wearing much of anything- he thought that maybe 'ladies' wasn't the best term. But what the hell, politeness never hurt anyone. "Um, listen, do any of you happen to know what's going on? Because, no offence meant here but... I have no recollection of last night and NO idea how you got here."

"Neither do I." Said the now-irate looking Minbari. Michael briefly reflected that she had looked much better asleep, then dismissed the thought quickly. Now was NOT the time for those thoughts.

"The last thing I remember was doing my rounds in Brown Sector and feeling dizzy." Said one of the prostitutes. Kitty Curls, if Garibaldi remembered correctly.

"Right." He said, distracted. "Well, maybe this might be a sickness thing or something... I'm going to go to MedBay-" Which was when he realised that he'd have to get up and dressed- in front of four women whose real names he didn't even know. Both of the prostitutes and the dancer were smirking, obviously having guessed his train of thought. The Minbari was looking at him sharply, obviously wondering when he'd finish his sentence.

Sighing and realising it was inevitable, Garibaldi decided to take the plunge. He slid out of bed and got the reactions he was betting on- both of the human prostitutes wolf-whistled, the Centauri laughed out loud and the Minbari tutted and, he guessed, hid her face in her hands. Bending over- and getting a few more giggles in response- Garibaldi picked up his trousers... and gaped. "Wow."

* * *

John desperately tried not to look down, or to the sides, as Delenn and Lyta got their bearings. He also tried hard not to stare too strongly at Vir, who was blushing and stuttering more violently than usual, and was studying the bedroom door like his life depended on it. Finally deciding to take control of the situation, Sheridan coughed lightly.

Everyone shut up and looked at him. "All right, now, I'm assuming no one remembers anything about last night?" All three shook their heads. "All right, well, me neither. I think it's pretty obvious about at least some of what happened but it may be a better idea to wait until we know for sure about everything, OK?" Another round of nods. "OK, now, Vir, you're the only one who's, uh, dressed so can you go into the front room and find our clothes?"

Vir nodded and walked to the door. John turned to the women in his bed and suddenly realised his arms were still wrapped around them. He whipped them back as quickly as he could and Lyta smiled self consciously. Delenn continued studying the bedspread.

"Uh, are you two... OK?" Delenn smiled slightly and nodded. Lyta grinned a little at the look on his face and nodded too. Then he heard a surprised gasp.

"Vir?" He asked, instantly alert and wondering where his PPG was. "What is it?"

"Uh..." Came the reply. "You're front room. It's... uh... You're going to have to see this!"

* * *

David Corwin and Zack Allan stared at Stephen. Then at each other. Then they looked down and stared some more.

All three of them were distinctly ruffled in terms of their clothes. David's shirt was hanging off his shoulders, his trousers were unbuckled and looked like they'd recently been yanked up hurriedly. Zack's shirt was off, and made part of the makeshift bed they were lying on along with their jackets and some lab coats. Stephen's trousers were around his knees, his boxers barely covering what they should and his shirt ridden up to his armpits.

"Umm..." tried Zack.

"Huh uh... well..." David continued the attempt.

"Alright, well clearly something's happened here that we need to, uh, see to so- who's up for a medical scan?"

Both men put their hands up.

* * *

Marcus walked down the corridor in Red Sector, confused. First, he'd had to dock himself in the station because no one was answering at C+C, then he'd actually been able to dock himself without help from C+C, which shouldn't have been possible- and now he couldn't find anyone. No security, no shopkeepers, no random background people in the corridors, nothing. It was silent as the grave.

Well, nearly.

A crash sounded throughout the corridor, muffled from coming through the walls, and Marcus followed it, and the screaming voices, to their source. Which were the quarters of Ambassador Londo Mollari.

He rang the door chime and waited for about half a second- until the door swished open and a large book came flying out and went right into his midsection. Looking up, gasping, Marcus felt his eyes widen. "What are you two doing here together?!"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Sorry it's been so long, I'm suffering from supposedly 'mild' depression, according to the doctor anyway, and I've had massive writers block as a result. I'm working on the other two novels, I promise, but I felt really bad for not getting anything out so I pushed myself for this chappie. Enjoy!

***

As the doors opened yet again, John looked up, feeling his eyeballs complain at the movement. Susan Ivanova and Mister Lennier came in together, both looking more than a little embarrassed and quite a bit surprised at the welcome that awaited them. As they hesitated in the door, John grimaced at them.

"Do your heads feel as bad as ours?"

Both of them nodded and came to the table, sitting down.

"OK," began a disgustingly perky Marcus, one of the two only people present who wasn't leaning on the table for support. Or sleeping on it, as Garibaldi seemed to be doing. "So all of you woke up in... shall we say _unusual_ circumstances?" Everyone nodded, and then winced. Garibaldi shivered, nearly sliding off the table. Franklin put both hands over his face and mumbled something no one could hear while Ivanova glared at the wall, as if it was responsible for her pain. Sheridan flickered a brief glance to Delenn, who was now examining the table with great intensity. Lennier was practically bent double he was examining the floor so closely and Vir was getting more and more purple by the second. Londo and G'Kar, who were leaning against the walls at opposite sides of the room, were glaring at each other ferociously. Lyta seemed to be the only one who wasn't completely dying of either embarrassment or a hangover.

"Fairly unusual circumstances, yes." She said, trying not to smile. Sheridan went red and Delenn copied Franklin and buried her face in her hands in mortification. Marcus tried not to imagine what their reactions might mean and continued.

"Well, something obviously happened to all of you to get you... where you were. Does _anyone_ remember _anything_?"

Another round of shaking heads and winces went around. Then Franklin unburied his face long enough to say, "I ran a scan on myself, Sergeant Allan and Lieutenant Corwin. We all have traces of something in our blood that shouldn't be there. The computer's analysing it now." He reburied his face.

"Right... well, that might explain why you all did... whatever it was that you did last night and now don't remember- if you were under the effects of drugs or poison or something. Though, come to think of it, everyone on the station seems to have been involved. It can't have been something in food or water, as not everyone eats the same things."

"Mbe iws smign thairduks." Mumbled Garibaldi. Everyone looked at him, confused and worried. Seeming to sense their stares, Garibaldi raised his head out of his arms and repeated himself. "Maybe it was something in the air ducts."

"Maybe." Said Sheridan, his eyes still half shut. "But then, no one in the alien sector would have been affected.

"Have they?" Asked Franklin between his fingers. Sheridan shrugged- and then paled in pain as his shoulders and neck protested sharply.

"I'll go see Ambassador Kosh, see if he's alright. Plus I can apprise him of the situation out here." Said Lyta, who was defiantly way too perky for everyone else as they all brightened up at the idea of her going away.

"I have an idea," said Marcus, looking around at his fragile looking colleagues. "How about we continue this discussion in the Medical Bay?"

If they had felt up to it they would have jumped for joy. As it was they struggled to their feet and staggered to the door with moans of pain.

***

As the round of painkillers settled into everyone's heads and backs started to straighten, the test results finally arrived. Stephen, his face fully separated from his palms now, gave everyone a complicated explanation of the substances' chemical breakdown and physiological effects he'd discovered so far that ended when Garibaldi stood up and glared at him.

"Well... basically... we were poisoned." He finished lamely.

After a moments' silence, Sheridan replied to this revelation with "OBVIOUSLY." Garibaldi snickered. "But how did that end with us getting- where we were?"

"I don't know." Said Franklin, frowning. "I'm still analysing the drug. If I find anything else out I'll, of course, get back to you."

"How is it you don't know?" Grumbled Ivanova. "Don't we have all poisons on file?"

"Yes," said Franklin, now looking a little pissed. "And while some of us may use those files for bedtime reading, others use it for more practical purposes."

Trying to avert the explosion he detected in Ivanova's nostrils as they flared, Sheridan stepped forward. "You mean, this stuff isn't on file?"

"No." Said Franklin, calming down. "I've never seen anything like it. I should have more information soon. All I can tell you right now is that, if we'd been given more of it than we did, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

They were interrupted as Zack Allan walked into the room. "Captain, a preliminary scan of the vents show traces of an unknown substance."

"Give your report to Franklin." Said Sheridan. Zack did, as well as handing a second pad to Garibaldi, who frowned at its contents. "I expect it'll turn out to be the same thing as what's in our blood."

"Probably." Said Franklin.

"Hang on," Said Garibaldi. The others turned to look at him. "There are three men in the brig who weren't there before whatever it was that happened yesterday happened. No one on my- hung over- team can account for them either."

"Morishi got in contact with me just before I got here." Said Zack. "All three of them have ties to the HomeGuard."

"All right, I think I know where to go from here." Said Sheridan grimly, and the others nodded.

***

The three men lounged against the far wall, trying to look entirely at ease. A bit difficult, as they were locked in a cell, unarmed, with two seriously pissed off looking EarthForce officers staring at them.

"All right boys, the first one to talk doesn't get introduced to the outer hull." Growled Garibaldi.

"Oh please Garibaldi, you can't kill someone in your custody." Said the middle of the three men, obviously their leader. The only one who wasn't cowering.

"Who's to say it's murder?" Asked Garibaldi, his eyes practically glowing. "After all, the three of you are resisting arrest."

"We're already in a cell, that excuse isn't going to fly with your bosses." Snarled the leader, his eyes narrowing unpleasantly.

"They don't have to know." Grinned Garibaldi. There isn't any record of your arrest, and the security teams here are loyal to me and Sheridan. If you collapse, bleeding and bruised, there's no one on your side to argue that the three of you didn't start fighting amongst yourselves. And that's even if we decide not to incinerate your bodies. So," he clapped his hands as the three prisoners gained an even greener tinge to their faces than before. "who's going first?"

***

"So, they were sent to kill everyone. That I get. But why did we end up... you know?" Said Sheridan, trying not to squirm as the lift descended.

"Well, they weren't able to release enough before I caught them, I guess it just made us crazy instead of dead." Said Garibaldi simply and proudly. "I'd prefer it that way."

"Me too, don't get me wrong, but still. It's curious..." At that moment Sheridan link bleeped. Toggling he said, "Yeah?"

"Captain, it's Stephen. I've got some more information on the serum. You may want to get down here."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N I was so jubilant to receive shadowsamurai83's comments that I had to update and finally finish! I may redo this story in the future as this wasn't exactly how I originally thought of it but my muse is one of those "You'll get what you're given and you'll like it" people. ;) Quick warning- sex scenes abound! I've upped the rating as a precaution. Slash, spanking and so much silliness. Also, the song lyrics are from Bill Mumy's song Never Gonna Stop, album Circular. His music ROCKS!!!

***

Everyone was standing in MedBay, looking impatient. Stephen was examining the last of the test results with a furrowed brow. Lyta had brightly chirped that none of the aliens in the Aliens Sector appeared to have been affected. Garibaldi had arrived with three blood samples from the prisoners which he assured Sheridan had been 'freely volunteered'. Everyone else was trying desperately to not look at their bed partners of the previous night.

"Alright," began Stephen, getting everyone's attention. "I called you all here because I've got a better explanation about the serum and its effects but Garibaldi's donation from the prisoners has also given us something else we can use."

"What?" Asked Delenn, apparently only just getting over her embarrassment of being found in someone else's bed.

"Well, the way the serum works is that it actually adapts to the different metabolism and bio chemical reactions of every oxygen breathing race. It then causes a hormonal reaction similar to a human's when they get really- _really_- drunk." Everyone looked very uncomfortable. "However, enough of it would have killed us all. Slowly and painfully, I might add."

"Well then, why were the assassins still here when the serum was delivered?" Asked Delenn, furrowing her brow. "Surely they would have died alongside us?"

"Actually no," Said Stephen. "They had been treated with an antidote to the serum that would have saved them, had the levels reached a lethal dose. One of the after-effects of the serum, when survived, as we've seen, is total amnesia of the affected period. I think I can synthesize the antidote they had and use it to help us remember what happened."

"Absolutely." Said Sheridan, remembering the state of his front room, furniture overturned, clothes spread all over the toppled sofa wantonly, with a woman on each arm and a Centauri male lying across his legs. He shuddered. He wasn't sure he'd like what he learned but he _had_ to know.

Garibaldi shuddered at the thought of exactly how he'd gotten four women into his bed. And how his trousers had been practically shredded. He'd been known to get into fights when he used to get drunk... He had to be sure he hadn't done anything truly evil last night.

Ivanova and Lennier strenuously did not look at each other. How even being drunk had got them in bed together, with all of the furniture in her front room smashed to pieces, pictures torn off the walls, nail scratches on the walls, clothes strewn all over the place, she didn't know. But she wanted to.

G'Kar glared at Stephen as if he were responsible for his unpleasant awakening- next to Ambassador Mollari. If he found out he and Londo had actually... ugh. It made him retch to even start thinking the words. If he found out it had been so, he would kill himself, after dispatching of the repugnant republican. It was a matter of honour.

Stephen prepared several doses of the antidote and pondered his possibilities. How he'd ended up with Zack and David was a complete mystery but there was no point in hoping that the obvious wasn't so- the medical scan had shown a few things that he had no intention of _ever_ telling anyone else. He would like to know just how the hell it happened though!

"Alright. I've got five doses ready here. Who wants to go first?" Everyone shot glances at the needles as if they were going to bite.

"If I may?" Said Delenn. Everyone turned to look at her. "It is fairly likely that whatever happened last night will embarrass us to remember. If only one of us from each... room... remembers, then we will not all be humiliated when we see each other in the future."

The others eagerly nodded. "OK," Said Sheridan. "I'll go first." Delenn and Vir looked only too happy about this. Lyta nodded.

"Me too, obviously." Said Garibaldi.

Lennier and Ivanova looked at each other guardedly. "I'll do it." Said Ivanova. If Lennier was the one to remember, considering what she suspected had happened, his head would probably explode.

"I have to know." Said G'Kar. This sparked an argument with Londo which was only ended when Sheridan interrupted and asked Londo if he _really_ wanted to remember. The green tinge on the Ambassadors face answered the question.

"And I'll take it for... err... us." Said Stephen, trying to not look at either of his floor partners from the previous night.

Sheridan, Garibaldi, Ivanova and G'Kar lined up with their arms out. Stephen injected each of them with the first four needles and then, breathing deeply for fortitude, injected himself. After a few moments, the memories came flooding back. Unfortunately.

***

"_Sir, I've got the terrorists in a cell but some of the serum leaked out." Came Garibaldi's voice over the link._

"_Report to MedBay. I'll send out a bulletin. Let's just hope it isn't lethal." Said Sheridan, already reaching for the table control as Garibaldi affirmed the order._

"_This is Captain Sheridan. A failed terrorist attack has released a small quantity of as yet unknown gas into the oxygen areas. We believe there is no reason to panic, however, if you feel sick in any way, please go straight to MedBay. I repeat, please remain calm. There is no reason to panic. Thank you."_

"_John?" Came Delenn's voice._

"_Yes Delenn?" God he was so happy to see her. Having her around never failed to make him feel better. She was just so calm and cool and collected and attractive, the way she fit into those beautiful dresses and the way her hair flowed down the sides of her face, God he could just grab her and- wow. Down boy._

"_I just heard the broadcast. What was released?" She asked as she came in and stood before his desk. He stood up and came round to stand in front of her._

"_We don't know yet. Garibaldi's taking some of it to be analysed. Only a small amount got out, I doubt it'll cause any trouble."_

"_Oh good." Said Delenn faintly, suddenly fanning herself._

_Sheridan frowned, concerned. "Are you alright? You look terribly flushed."_

"_I just feel a little hot, is all. Funny, I felt fine a moment ago..."_

_The bottom of Sheridan's stomach fell into an abyss. "You might be having a reaction to the gas. We need to get you to MedBay." She murmured faintly, closing her eyes and leaning forward, resting her body against his. Sheridan tried to ignore the lightning bolt that hit his groin and half guided, half carried her to the nearest lift. As they staggered in and leaned against the wall, she turned in his grip and pushed her face against his shoulder._

"_Uh, Delenn?"_

"_Mmm?"_

"_What're you doing?"_

"_Nothing." She sighed- right before her hands slipped into the front of his trousers._

_After having jumped and squeaked loud enough to perforate his own eardrums, Sheridan dragged as much dignity around him as he could and said "Delenn?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_You hands are... Uhh... ticklIIIIING!!!" Delenn's fingers ('And at which temple exactly did she learn _that_ trick?') created a feeling in Sheridan that shoved out every ounce of rational, logical thought and replaced them with several dozen small, screaming animals that made it very clear what they thought he should do. Before he knew it, the both of them were plastered against the back wall, Delenn's legs wrapped around his waist, her fingers grasping his shoulders as they rutted together, screaming in debased pleasure._

"_Well well." Came a new voice. Looking over his shoulder, Sheridan saw a familiar red head standing behind him, looking at him and Delenn with unashamed lechery. "This is interesting."_

"_Lyta," stammered Delenn, shivering against Sheridan's hardness in a very _pleasing_ way. "Is there something we can do for you?"_

"_Yeah, you can continue. That was hot." Smirked the flushed telepath._

"_OK." Said Sheridan, who for the life of him couldn't figure out why he'd stopped in the first place. The next few minutes were occupied by more screams and the smell of sweat getting stronger until, somehow, Delenn's panties were on the floor and he was thrusting into her as deep as he could._

_After a few moments, they both became aware of another penetration as Lyta's voice seemed to curl around their minds. 'I think we can make this more interesting, can't we?'_

_Worlds of pleasure that he had no name for erupted and he and Delenn screamed helplessly against the onslaught of pleasure that ripped their very identities away. Lyta rode on the top of the tidal wave, her own voyeuristic pleasure only adding to theirs. The waves reflected off each other until the three of them ended up in a pile on the floor._

_Just as their minds settled in their own places again, the doors whooshed open and a very flushed looking Vir stood there. Whereas normally, he might have passed out from stuttering too much, now he only stared in obvious entrancement. "Oh my!" He exclaimed. "This is most... unexpected!"_

"_Good evening Vir." Murmured Delenn. Lyta reached over Sheridan's hips to do something to Delenn that made her tremble and he thanked her profusely in his head._

"_Yes, a very good evening, Mister Cotto." Growled Sheridan, pissed that his legs weren't letting him stand up to continue his fun. Being on the floor didn't give him the best position to keep going._

"_If I may ask... Is this how your species usually does these things?" He asked, honest curiosity on his face._

"_No, we usually do it in private." Gasped Sheridan, wriggling on top of Delenn to repeat his earlier performance horizontally. "And on a bed."_

"_I believe your quarters are closest Captain." Said Lyta, straightening her clothes sensuously._

_Twenty minutes later, after three stops to shove each other into the nearest wall for more demonstrations of Human style coupling, the four of them staggered into Sheridan's front room. He shoved Delenn onto the sofa and threw himself on top of her and delved into her once more, feeling Lyta glue herself to his back and bring their minds together once more as he heard Vir sit on the chair next to the sofa to watch._

_After another ten minutes of heaven the absence of room to move started to become more than an annoyance. Sheridan stood up, carrying a swooning Delenn and guiding a limping Lyta to the bedroom. He barely spared a thought as to exactly when the sofa had ended up on its back, the legs pointing sideways in an unintended coarse visual pun of Delenn's former position on it, their clothes thrown all over the place, the chair Vir had occupied on its side, the various bowls and items from his kitchen top scattered on the floor and his table upside down. The three of them fell onto the bed as Vir came in after them, still watching avidly as the three of them tied themselves in a knot of arms and legs and fingers and _loads_ of legs for hours and hours and-_

"Oh. My. God." Sheridan buried his face in his arms. He couldn't believe it... He didn't _want_ to believe it... He especially didn't want to remember how good it had been... Not while Lyta was present anyway...

"Vir didn't do anything inappropriate with us." He moaned, not wanting to drag out the poor aide's suffering any longer than was necessary. Making a mental note to find Delenn's panties before a member of the maintenance crew did, Sheridan buried his face once more, not intending to come out until everyone was long gone.

***

"_Report to MedBay. I'll send out a bulletin. Let's just hope it isn't lethal." Came Sheridan's reply._

"_Yes sir." Said Garibaldi, taking the carton of gas with him as he began to trot down the corridor. Entering the lift at the end, he encountered two female members of his team. "Nadir, take this container to the science lab, have them analyse its contents."_

"_Yes Chief." Said the taller woman, taking the carton and leaving the lift. Garibaldi stood next to the other woman- Garner, he believed her name was._

_As they waited patiently for the lift to arrive at their levels, he suddenly realised that he was getting very hot. His collar was itching like crazy and his trousers felt _way_ too tight. Fidgeting, trying to find a way to stand that didn't drive him crazy, he realised Garner was looking at him._

"_Hot, Sir?"_

"_Very, Garner."_

"_Thank you, Sir." It took a moment for his brain to catch up with what she meant by that. By then, though, his mouth had already responded._

"_Yeah, your legs are to die for. I bet you could clench a Minbari Warrior between them and he'd never get loose. Not that he'd be trying too hard."_

_After a moment of silence, they both suddenly burst into helpless laughter._

"_I'm so sorry Garner, I have no idea why I just said that."_

"_Oh so you didn't mean it?" She pouted, putting her head to one side. "How disappointing."_

"_No, that's not what I meant at all." He gasped, trying to figure out why he was walking towards her. "Just that I shouldn't have said it. Very unprofessional."_

"_Well, no one else is here." She said, leaning her face forward conspiratorially. "No one else at all."_

_The next thing he knew, the two of them were tearing at each other desperately, ripping their shirts away and yanking each other's trousers down, ending up a heaving pile of semi clad flesh on the floor of the lift._

_It took almost forty minutes and three climaxes for both of them before Garibaldi figured out how to stand again and staggered out of the lift, saying, "Yeah, I'll see you at tomorrow's briefing- and wear that bra again!" Turing around, he walked into Ivanova. "Commander!"_

"_Mister Garibaldi, you're out of uniform." She said, actually sounding disapproving. Despite the fact that her eyes were racing up and down his exposed groin._

"_No I'm not; I've still got my trousers on." He said belligerently. "Mostly."_

"_So you do." She said. "But you're still far too rumpled for me to ignore. Get up against the wall."_

_Doing so, feeling slightly bemused and still _very_ hot, he was pleasantly surprised as she yanked his wrinkled trousers to his knees. Then he yelped as she spanked his left cheek, _hard_. Then the other one, even harder._

_This continued for several minutes, his erection getting harder and harder until he was begging her to let him reach down and sort out his little problem._

"_Not so little, Mister Garibaldi." Purred Ivanova. "And I'm sure a sexy beast like you can find someone to take care of it for you. But put it away until you do- you don't want to scare any children who see it." And she walked off, sauntering her hips as she went._

"_You're a sadistic bitch, you do realise that, right?" He shouted after her._

"_Oh, yeah. Couldn't ya tell?"_

"_Where are you going?" He said, pulling up his trousers over his stinging buttocks._

"_To find someone to spank ME!"_

_Ten minutes later found him in the casino, rolling dice after dice as more women came over to him, rubbing their hands over his body and trying to sit in his lap while he was still standing. Finally a Minbari woman wearing the uniform of a ranger dragged him away from the table and shoved him into a store room behind the bar._

"_Enough stalling, stallion boy." She muttered, crushing her mouth to his. "Show me what humans are made of."_

_Apparently their yells of pleasure weren't muffled enough in each other's chests, because the door was pulled open, revealing a human wearing a glittery piece of bugger all and a Centauri dancer with a set of curves that seemed to go on forever._

"_Hey, don't hog the stud man, bony." Sniped the human as the Centauri giggled, swaying on her feet._

"_You're far too immature to know how to have him, silly girl." Snarled the feral-looking Minbari. "Go play dress up with your little friend here while I show him a _real_ good time."_

"_Bitch!" Trilled the human._

"_Child!" Taunted the Minbari._

"_Cow!"_

"_Whore!"_

"_At least I know how to really pleasure a man!"_

"_You wouldn't know how to pleasure a temsha'we bird, you stupid slut!"_

_The next thing he knew, the both of them were in tangle on the floor, hair flying and head bone thrashing back and forth as they scratched and bit in the best cat fight Garibaldi had ever seen. And it was all about _him_. The Centauri stepped over the mess._

"_You know, we could go have fun while we leave them to their business." She suggested, winking._

"_Oh, that sounds like fun. Except... We're not exactly... _compatible_. Are we?" He said, torn between going with this curvy wonder and staying to watch the Minbari and Human tear at each other's clothes for a little while. The Centauri smiled._

"_There are ways... and there are _ways_." She said, gyrating suggestively. His mind promptly disappeared from the fight in front of him, which was just as well, as it stopped right there._

"_You are not taking my evening entertainment _anywhere_!"_

"_We're supposed to be _sharing_!"_

"_Hey, hey, there's plenty of me to go around fairly, ladies!" He said, spreading his arms wide to make his point. Unfortunately, he spoke too loudly, as everyone female in the room (and for some reason, there were _only_ females- and a lot of them- in the room) turned to look at him, appearing to be _very_ interested._

"_OK." He said, after a moment's silence. "Who wants to go first?"_

Garibaldi stopped breathing for a few moments as the brief flashes of what happened next flashed in his mind's eye- droves of women throwing themselves at him, the Minbari not leaving his side all night, finally dragging him back to his quarters with her fight mate and the Centauri, at some point picking up another Human along the way, and what had followed, starting with the Minbari 'removing' his trousers enthusiastically and continuing for six hours, finally ending when the five of them collapsed in a heap, unable to move.

"Michael?" Asked Stephen carefully, clearly worried about the look on his face. "Are you alright?"

"Oh yeah." He said, slipping his hands into his pockets and rocking back onto his heels for moment, a _very_ satisfied smile sliding across his face. "I'm goood."

After a moment, Lyta asked irritably, "does anyone object if I slap that look off his face?"

***

"_Corwin! Try and track the affected ventilation ducts, see who's likely to be affected." Snapped Ivanova as soon as Sheridan's announcement finished._

"_Yes Commander." Said the boyish tech as he rushed to obey her orders. Ivanova liked that- in her mind there was nothing better than having people rushing to obey her every command. Especially handsome men._

_For a moment she stood still, trying to figure out where that thought had come from, until a wave of dizziness came over her. She staggered to her seat, putting her head into her hands, her ears ringing. No, they weren't ringing- she was hearing giggling._

_She looked around only to see one of the female techs gasping in way too much pleasure, in Ivanova's personal opinion, as Corwin slurped his way up her neck, his hands wandering around her waist._

"_What do you think you are doing!?" Screeched Ivanova._

_The woman, girl, as far as Ivanova was concerned, jumped and blushed. "Sorry, Commander-"_

"_You will be if you don't get the hell out of my sight right now!" She snarled at the simpering pest, who ran out of the room sobbing. Corwin looked a little put out- until Ivanova grabbed him by the collar and dragged him up the steps. "Everyone else out!" As they all stared at her, she growled. "_NOW_!!!" They all ran for the door, forming a scrum at the exit as they fled._

_Ignoring the last gasps of fear as the few remaining crew members tried to push each other aside to escape, she focused on the youthful model standing before her._

"_If you wanted to put your lips on a woman, _why_ did you ignore me?" She practically hissed, pushing him against the railing._

"_Sorry Commander... I wasn't aware you were interested." He drawled, grinding his face into her neck, his arms coming around to crush her against his chest as their hips began to move together._

_Thirty minutes later and Ivanova was pulling her clothes on as Corwin slumped against the wall, grinning stupidly. His trousers were around his ankles._

"_How'd I do?"_

"_Not bad." She said carelessly. "You definitely know your way around a woman's body quite well. Could do with expanding your frame of reference though Lieutenant." With that, she left him frowning in thought as she walked through _her_ station (the Captain could say whatever he bloody well wanted, this station was _HERS_) sending most people she encountered staggering the opposite way in fear. Sneering at them, she thought of all the men she knew, trying to guess which of them would be the best fit for getting rid of this annoying itch that _really_ wouldn't go away without help._

_As she walked past a lift, a familiar face and butt came out. "Yeah, I'll see you at tomorrow's briefing- and wear that bra again!" The walking sex toy turned and bumped right into her, something she wasn't upset about. "Commander!"_

"_Mister Garibaldi, you're out of uniform." She said, trying to sound disapproving. She actually did disapprove of his state of undress- she couldn't see nearly enough._

"_No I'm not; I've still got my trousers on." He said loudly. "Mostly." He smirked in a very _male_ way, a way that made her want to do something to him. She wasn't sure what. But something._

"_So you do." She said, thinking hard. "But you're still far too rumpled for me to ignore." Time to get you more rumpled, big boy. "Get up against the wall."_

_He turned, flashing that fine, overly covered ass at her as he spread his arms and legs, bracing himself against the wall. Whether consciously or otherwise, the movement caused his butt muscles to flex impressively. _Way_ too tempting._

_She reached forwards, grabbing the trailing edges of his trousers and forced them down, revealing thighs every inch as muscled as she'd hoped and a pair of cheeks that just begged to be reddened. She was only too happy to oblige, bringing her hand to contact with a nice loud *CRACK*. Oh so good. She repeated the process on the other cheek and promptly decided that this was what she wanted to do for the rest of the day. Why EarthForce had outlawed physical punishment was beyond her. This was _fun_._

_Garibaldi seemed to agree as he thrashed against the wall, moaning gutturally and thrusting his hips back yelping in joy as each slap landed until Ivanova could _smell_ the need coming off him. Soon he was begging._

"_Please, please, Commander, let me just, I have to- I have a... a little... problem..."_

"_Not so little, Mister Garibaldi." Purred Ivanova, pleased with the truth of her statement. Unfortunately, Garibaldi seemed to be pretty spent already. She didn't want to risk having to find a new partner again. She needed someone fresh. "And I'm sure a sexy beast like you can find someone to take care of it for you." Smirking, she couldn't help but add, "But put it away until you do- you don't want to scare any children who see it." And she walked off, swaying her hips intentionally as she went._

"_You're a sadistic bitch, you do realise that, right?" She heard him shout, frustration highly evident._

"_Oh, yeah. Couldn't ya tell?" She laughed back, every hair on her head buzzing with the truth of it. No doubt left- this was what she was meant for her entire life._

"_Where are you going?" He yelled._

"_To find someone to spank ME!" Oh yeah. Quest time._

_Not a prolonged quest, either. Just as she entered the Zoccolo, walking past G'Kar and Londo heaped on the bar next to each other and appearing to actually be talking calmly- wonders were plentiful tonight- she heard the voice._

They're fightin' in the name of profit and a book  
Marching to the orders of a crazy lazy crook  
It's been wrong for way too long, fire in the air  
It's all about the money and to get the lion's share  
Burnin' and determined to be snuffin' out the light  
The bridges and the levee's breakin' nuthin's working right

It ain't never gonna stop  
It ain't never gonna stop  
It ain't never gonna stop 'til the world goes pop  
So kiss me pretty baby and let me get on top

_This voice was manly, strong, seductive and feral all rolled into one amazing sound. She needed to find the singer. NOW.__ She pushed her way through the crowd, glaring at everyone who eyes weren't shut until they melted into the floor. Finally breaking through the last barrier she saw the most incredible sight she'd ever seen. This, in her condition was the perfection of the universe revealing itself._

We're running out of patience and we're running out of gas  
The polar caps are melting and the seas are rising fast  
The leaders keep on lying they are righteously insane  
They're wiretapping, back stabbing, water boarding pain  
There's way too many people that are sleeping in the street  
There's way too many babies who got nothin' good to eat

It ain't never gonna stop  
It ain't never gonna stop  
It ain't never gonna stop 'til the world goes pop  
So kiss me pretty baby and let me get on top

_Lennier. The good, strong, respectful priestling Minbari who lived in Delenn's shadow and whose neck was permanently bent forward, was standing on the biggest table in the Zoccolo, singing at the top of his lungs. Every syllable was perfect, his voice sending ripples of pleasure shooting up and down and in and out and _everywhere_ in Ivanova._

They're mowing down the monks they're going genocide  
You better stop drop and duck baby it ain't safe outside  
E coli in the veggies E coli in the beef  
AIDS, tumours, vicious rumours, no more coral reef  
Can't afford to let the kids go hang around the town  
Some mother fucking maniac'll shoot the children down

It ain't never gonna stop  
It ain't never gonna stop  
It ain't never gonna stop 'til the world goes pop  
so kiss me pretty baby and let me get on top

_One moment she was standing at the front of the crowd, staring at his pale lips form the words as he meandered his body through the melody, the stunning perfection of his voice matching the mesmerizing movements of his astounding body, the next thing she knew she was on the table next to him, he body grinding into his as they danced together. He pushed his face into her hair, breathing deeply, preparing for the next verse as his hands came up and began to massage her, both bodies pulsing in time with the other._

Send the work we used to do to somewhere overseas  
Get it back and find out jack it's full of some disease  
Tax the poor and crown the rich and veto common sense  
Throw everyone in prison and then build another fence  
Yeah maybe baby something better bound to come along  
But it's a joke there's so much broke how can we right this wrong?

It ain't never gonna stop  
It ain't never gonna stop  
It ain't never gonna stop 'til the world goes pop  
So kiss me pretty baby and let me get on top  
I'm never gonna stop oooh I'm never gonna stop  
Never gonna stop 'til the world goes pop  
So kiss me pretty baby and lemme get on top

_As he got to the last verse, he kissed her at the end of every line, kisses that ripped every facet of control from her until, at the last 'lemme get on top' she grabbed his shoulders and threw herself backwards, onto the floor, pulling him with her. They ended up wrapped firmly around each other, to a point where she could honestly not, for the life of her, tell who was where. All she knew was Lennier. The fact that they were on a cold, hard floor surrounded by drooling civilians watching as they tore each other's clothes out of the way was negligible. Actually, it was completely ignored._

_All she cared about was that she'd found the Holy Grail of her quest. Lennier was what she needed._

_At some point one of them had the good sense to get them moving, grappling their way to a lift and gasping out the level for Ivanova's quarters. They then proceeded to dent every panel in the lift before the doors opened and they wrestled their way down the corridor. As they got to her door, Lennier- who definitely had magic fingers by _every_ definition of the term- pulled out her card and opened the doors, throwing her in._

_What happened next passed in a blur of ripping sounds and crashing thumps as their mutual attempts to find skin resulted in the decimation of everything that got in the way. At some point, Lennier pushed her against the wall and they connected, her violent spasms of joy forcing her to sink her claws and fangs into something. At first she settled for Lennier, revelling in his pleased growls as she drew blood, then he grabbed her hands and held them to the sides, having his way with her and she gouged grooves in the wall, crying her encouragement to the room._

Hours. She had practically abused the Ambassadorial aide from Minbar for _hours_. After pretty much attacking one of her subordinates. There was only one way to deal with this revelation while still keeping her dignity intact.

She ran from the room.

Looking after her apprehensively, Lennier quickly flashed a questioning glance to Vir.

"I don't think you want to know."

***

"_I repeat, please remain calm. There is no reason to panic. Thank you."_

_No reason to panic?! Sheridan had to be kidding! They'd all been poisoned and there was no reason to panic! He'd have to go point out a few truths to the foolish human- Narn style! With fists and teeth!_

_As G'Kar strode out of the room, snarling under his breath, he heard a painfully familiar voice._

"_Ahh G'Kar! Good to see you! Feeling alright are we? No dizziness or headaches?"_

_Growling even louder, he snapped "NO! I'm fine Mollari, now go get drunk!"_

"_Already am, my dear _Citizen_. And are you _sure_ you're alright? I was rather hoping that this latest attack would cleanse the station of your despicable species."_

_Turning, snarling, G'Kar came face to face with his smirking, swaying enemy. Next to the bulbous bastard was his cringing aide, Cotto. The squat and stammering child-man started gasping objections to Londo's words, objections that were, as usual, summarily ignored. "If the universe has any sense of justice it is YOUR depraved species that will be dead as a result of this attack! You're the ones who deserve it you child-murdering, innocent-slaughtering, status obsessed-"_

"_Better to be obsessed with status than to have none at all, you primitive savage!" Snarled the inebriated idiot. "You're entire species is nothing but a collection of squatting beasts!"_

"_THAT'S ENOUGH!!!" Screamed Vir who, far from his usual demeanour of cowering terror, was suddenly looking incredibly pissed. "You're both like children, all you do is argue about things that mean nothing! You hate each other simply for the pleasure of hating each other! It's enough to drive a sane person insane! If you two ever just sat down and discussed things calmly you'd see how silly this constant antagonising is and probably become friends! But noo, you just have to keep going with you pointless bickering! Well, I've had ENOUGH!!!"_

_And with that, he strode off, looking very confident._

"_Well," began Mollari, looking in the direction his previously squishable aide had gone barrelling in._

"_Ahem." Said G'Kar, looking repentant._

"_Do you think he's right?" Asked Mollari. "About us only hating each other because it's what we've always done?"_

"_Well, now I think about it, it does make sense. I mean, we have hated each other the entire time we've known each other; we never actually tried to open a dialogue." Said G'Kar fairly. "Perhaps he's right- maybe we should." And with that, the two men strode off, arm in arm, comparing notes on the history of their respective peoples and the interaction between them, completely losing track of time._

_Only once in their walk was their discussion interrupted, just outside the Zoccolo, where Zack Allan and Stephen Franklin walked into them, attempting to perform what looked like a two person conga line._

"_Oops, sorry Ambassador. Sorry G'Kar." Laughed the gaily jiggling Doctor, trying to pull his companion out of the weird semi-bow the Sergeant had fallen into._

"_Doctor, you're drunk!" Admonished the Centauri, briefly covering his eyes as he swayed again. Cursing Brivari under his breath and apparently coming to the conclusion that he needed more of it, he continued, "I was hoping for your input though. What do you think about the attack on Raghesh 3? Was it Narns or Centauri who were ultimately responsible?"_

_Balancing his choking, giggling dance partner precariously on his shoulder, Franklin thought for a moment. "Well, I think you were both at fault. I mean, if Centauri hadn't taken the land in the first place, there would have been no need for a fight. But it had been a Centauri colony for over a generation, so there was really no point in risking a war to take it back- If you peoples had tried for peace, there would have been no fight. The attack was more about bloodying the Centauri's noses than getting land that was rightfully yours originally."_

_G'Kar nodded wisely. "I suspect you're right."_

_At that point Zack pitched forward onto the floor and lay there, giggling like an idiot for several seconds as the three men looked down, trying to figure out how he got down there. Finally G'Kar sighed._

"_I think you should probably help him out of his situation doctor."_

"_Yeah, yeah," nodded the sashaying healer as he leaned over, grabbed his friend by the arms and tried to figure out how to straighten up for a few minutes. As they walked off, G'Kar swore he heard the darker human say "What did he say to help you out of, Zack?"_

_As the two men collapsed onto the bar happily, ordering plenty of drinks to keep them going, they continued their discussion. At one point, G'Kar noticed a vaguely familiar voice singing behind him and a very animalistic Ivanova stalking past him, her eyes glinting with the hunt, but he didn't break his verbal stride. Vir's outbreak had unleashed a desire to understand his esteemed colleague Mollari and a desire to be more understood by him._

_Finally, after comparing notes on the various atrocities of the two wars they'd been through and the unfairness of the current laws over the Narns in proportion to the terrorist attacks committed by the Narns, G'Kar's head was drooping._

"_Tired, my old friend?" Hiccupped Mollari, burying his face in a beaker of alcohol. G'Kar murmured a muffled confirmation and rested his head on his hands. "Ahh, noo, you can't sleep here. You'll do your neck a great injustice. Come back to my quarters, I'll show you how comfortable the bed is! You'll swear you were in the afterlife!"_

_They staggered back to Mollari's quarters, giggling about the various comedic aspects of each other's cultures, ultimately staggering into Mollari's bedroom, sighing._

"_You know- you're right." Said G'Kar, pulling his dagger sheath off his belt and tossing it behind the sofa. "The laws are necessary to protect your people from retribution."_

"_No, no, retribution that wouldn't be coming if we hadn't oppressed your people." Said Mollari magnanimously. "Perhaps, if we could only get the rest of our people to understand the truth we have realised, the situation could be resolved without any more bloodshed on either side."_

"_Oh yes, very true, very true." Nodded G'Kar sagely._

"_Though, come to think of it, it would help if my people understood your people's culture a bit more. It's easy for us to minimize the horrors of our actions when we reason that your people are barbarians who deserve it. Perhaps, if we were to display your people's culture a bit better, we would understand."_

_An idea flashed into G'Kar slightly overwhelmed mind. "The Book of G'Quan! If we made it commercially available to all Centauri they'd understand. Eventually."_

_Mollari nodded, his smile widening. "That is very possible, my good friend. Where is your copy?"_

"_In my quarters." Burped G'Kar, handing his identicard over. "On the table."_

"_Very well, I'll go get it. You make yourself comfortable on the bed. When I get back we'll talk some more."_

G'Kar felt sure his spots were turning white as he remembered peacefully falling asleep next to his worst enemy, after coming to an _amicable_ conclusion about surrendering Narn honour in the name of peace and freedom... ACK!!! He had regained some honour by throwing that vile statue of Li at Mollari's head when he woke up and found both of them under the same set of covers- thank G'Quan fully dressed. Though Mollari throwing his precious Book of G'Quan at the door hadn't been so good, nor had it hitting the station's resident ranger in the stomach been particularly fantastic.

"THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!" He screamed, unable to believe that he would do such a thing.

Mollari, clearly assuming the worst, ran out of the room screaming as G'Kar hid his face in his arms, unintentionally copying Sheridan, who had yet to reveal himself despite Delenn's near hysterical efforts.

"Huh." Said Zack, his eyebrows raised. "I don't want to know what his problem is."

***

_Stephen came running out of MedBay as the Captain's announcement ended. He had to get to the science lab, they might need his help to analyse the poison. His staff were on hand, if they needed him they knew where to find him._

_He ran onto one of the transport tubes, nearly running full pelt into Sergeant Allan._

"_Sorry!" He gasped._

"_Whoa, it's OK." Said Zack, standing to the side as Stephen regained his bearings. "I just heard the Captain's announcement- what was released?"_

"_We don't know yet." Heaved Stephen, suddenly feeling very dizzy and slightly sick. "All I know for sure is that something was released, but only a little bit of it."_

"_Well, with any luck, it won't be fatal." Said Zack weakly. Looking over, Stephen saw that the Sergeant appeared to be rather pale and wan._

"_You feeling alright Zack?" He said, concerned. He moved forward and checked the Security officer's temperature._

"_Nah, it's nothing." He said, shrugging off the doctor's concern. "Just feels like I've been dancing in circles for a while."_

"_I've done that a few times." Said Stephen, for some reason. "It's fun."_

"_Yeah," smiled Zack. "Me too. When I was younger I used to love twirling in circles for ages- I'd usually end up falling over and breaking something but it was worth it. I don't have any sense of rhythm though so I never got the hang of dancing."_

"_I could teach you." Offered Stephen. It seemed completely natural to him- as far as he was concerned dancing was perfectly natural. "I've got a great sense of rhythm."_

"_Really?" Asked Zack, grinning widely. "You wouldn't mind?"_

"_Nah, I love to dance." Said Stephen, waving his hands to demonstrate. "Come on, let's go to the Zoccolo- they always have some music equipment there."_

_Twenty minutes later found them both doing an improvised version of the cha cha, after having gone through waltzing, country dancing, Irish dancing and trying their hands at the can can- which was the only thing that had made them look sillier than the cha cha. They were having the time of their lives, barking in laughter as the dragged each other round the hallway, bouncing off various aliens. Finally they collapsed against the wall, pulling in breaths like their lives were depending on it._

"_Hey, weren't you supposed to be somewhere?" Whispered Zack conspiratorially._

"_What? When, where?" Asked Stephen, his mind scattering as he tried to remember what he'd been doing before the dancing._

"_Huh?" Slurred Zack, wondering what Stephen was talking about._

"_Mmm?" Hummed the doctor as he leaned against the wall for moment, suddenly very tired. The brief attempt at normalcy receded and, for several minutes, they stayed there, happily resting. Then they heard more laughter and looked up to see a row of both human and Minbari Rangers trying to form a conga line. They were all falling over each other, laughing hysterically._

"_No, that's not how you do it!" Yelled Stephen, for some reason very pissed that they weren't getting it right._

"_Oh sod off Doctor!" Said a tall Minbari with a crown of bony spikes that marked him as a former member of the Warrior caste. "We're doing it _our_ way!"_

_Grumbling as the haphazard line moved off, Stephen grabbed Zack and pulled the collapsing man up. "Come on Zack, let's show them how it's really done!"_

"_Uh huh." Mumbled Zack, whose miniscule sense of rhythm had apparently decided it was giving up. Stephen tried to drag his partner's legs to the right position but every time, Zack fell over. Onto him which, while fun, was _very_ counterproductive._

_Suddenly the two of them bumped into Ambassador Mollari and G'Kar, who wanted Stephen opinions on something to do with sociology for some reason. Stephen made up an answer whilst trying to theorize for himself why he wasn't still dancing. When Zack fell on the floor he remembered._

_Vaguely hearing G'Kar's suggestion and affirming it, he bent forward to grab Zack and forgot how to get upright for a few minutes. As the sound of intelligent and therefore useless conversation disappeared, G'Kar's suggestion came back to Stephen._

"_What did he say to help you out of, Zack?" Queried the Doctor._

"_Inono." Burbled the downed Security officer, trying to pillow his head on his arms as Stephen fought to get vertical again._

"_Move the rhythmicless butt, Zacky- Zag-"_

"_Zig Zag!" Blurted Zack, and the two of them collapsed in hysterics for a minute until Stephen finally remembered the process called 'getting to ones feet' and got the pair of them to a transport tube._

"_Zig Zag is right- You couldn't dance in a straight line if your life depended on it!" Sniggered Stephen as the lift ascended._

"_Yeah, well... I... caaannnn... Shoot!"_

"_And?" They collapsed against the wall, cackling again. The doors whooshed open and the two of them staggered out towards MedBay._

"_Why are we here?" Huffed Zack, falling onto one of the Med Beds. Missing it, though, and collapsing onto the floor, apparently deciding that made as good a bed as any._

_Irritably, Stephen retorted, "we're here because..." Then he thought. "Uh... we are here because we... were... going... to..."_

"_Ahh, Doctor Farnklin- Franglang- Erm... Franklin!" Lieutenant Corwin crowed as he fell into the room, laughing loudly. "I was wondering if you could help me with something?"_

"_Sure, Corwin, what?" Asked Stephen, trying to remember why they were here._

"_Well, me and Ivanova were just fooling around-"_

"_Oh you poor man! Let me get the painkillers!" Sympathized the Doctor, looking around for the needles and wondering why Zack was cackling madly, rolling around on the floor._

"_No, no, it was nice... it was good..." Corwin trailed off for a moment, smiling widely. Coming back to the station he restarted. "No, she said that I could do with widening my thingy-"_

"_Well, we don't have the equipment here." Said Stephen, matter of factly._

"_Ivanova's a BITCH!!!" Shouted Zack unexpectedly, dragging himself up the side of the bed for a moment. "She probably only said that to make you _feel_ small. I bet you're not!"_

"_You really think so?" Blushed Corwin, his original train of thought vanished._

"_Well, show us and I'll tell you." Said Stephen simply._

_Corwin did so._

"_Oooh... definitely not small..." Giggled Zack._

"_Yeah, you thingy is actually quite big, Corwin." Said Stephen comfortingly. "Susan was probably just pissed about something else."_

"_Oh thanks!" Said Corwin, nearly jumping for joy. "I was just wondering if you wanted to help me learn about having sex with other men though- I've been with a lot of women but no men. I'm a little curious..."_

"_Oh, sure, sure." Said Stephen. "Let me just get some lubricant, I'm sure Zack wouldn't mind helping, would you?"_

_The semi-conscious Sergeant raised his fist and put one thumb up._

"_Great!" Hyped Corwin, dropping himself next to Zack and firmly attaching his face to the other man's slurping noises arousing Stephen as he got some oil from his desk. Throwing himself onto the floor next to the two men, he began preparing Corwin as the two men got more involved, pulling at each other's clothes. Stephen got himself ready, and forced himself up, into position._

"_Now just relax..." He said soothingly. "I'm a doctor..."_

Stephen came back to reality just after G'Kar's outburst. Taking the few seconds of distraction to steady himself, he remembered the hour long sex session, ending only when Zack became incapable of figuring out which way was up. As everyone settled down and realised Stephen was back to himself, they raised their eyebrows expectantly.

Coughing lightly, he said, "Zack? Corwin? Can I talk to you privately?"

Lyta looked disappointed.

***

"OK." Said Sheridan, still grey faced after the revelation. "I'm sure the rest of you have questions but I know that I, for one, _really_ don't want to answer them."

Stephen and G'Kar seemed to agree whole heartedly. Garibaldi looked a little disappointed and Ivanova hadn't reappeared yet. Delenn seemed to accept it, as did Vir. Lyta still looked curious, Lennier looked worried and Marcus was looking between everyone, his hyper movements reminiscent of a lemming's.

"Maybe one day, if I ever recover. Maybe. Don't hold your breath. In the mean time, I'm ordering this subject to be classified." As the objections started, he raised his voice. "CLASSIFIED!!! If I ever hear anyone discuss this ever again, I'll space them myself! Is that CLEAR!!!"

No one argued.

***

A/N let me know what you think- this is my first novel that's been finished! And hopefully, this signals the last of the writer's block!


End file.
